Sunday, September 19, 2004

Sunday Funnies

Good Morning!

Today's delightful experience is the MRE, or Meals Ready to Eat. This will be pre-formed in a southern or hillbilly accent. OK. MRE is a bit deceptive ‘cuz when you open this brown plastic package that looks like a brick, all you see is more smaller brown, plastic, square packages.

But here's where the fun begins. You take the main course package, which, in this case, is Beef Enchilada in Sauce, and put it in the green plastic bag. In the green plastic bag there is a little package that looks like it has coffee grounds in it. So you add a few table spoons of water, fold the end of the plastic bag over and slide it in to a cardboard cover. And, as I learned, you put it down fast. In seconds the water begins to boil. Even the cardboard starts to smoke. It's amazing!

OK, while that is going on you explore the other brown plastic squares. We got Spanish Rice! So I tear a corner off and suck out a few cold mouthfuls. Not bad! Probably should have put that in with the heater.

Also, a square of vegetable crackers! Tastes a lot like saltines but more like cardboard. However, if you are hungrily waiting for the enchiladas to cool, they can be quite satisfying.

We now try the main dish. Remove it (carefully!) from the still hot heater bag. Cut it open with a pocket-knife (plastic spoon supplied not adequate) and say, it's pretty good! Mmmmmmm. But use the handy rolled-up napkin provided; the jalapeno cheese sauce will make your nose drip.

There are many convenient condiments in a clear plastic square, including salt, sugar, coffee, breath mints, and a moist towelette. Also, a tiny bottle of Tabasco sauce which makes a good conversational piece.

Time to open another package, this one with lemon-lime drink mix. Poor it into your water bottle, shake and drink for a quick pucker. Otherwise, wait for the sugar to completely dissolve for a thirst-quenching smile! As you can see, it takes some practice to use the MRE correctly.

Finally, open the last package for 2 chocolate-chip cookies! They are crispy and not chewy. Also tasty! My only regret is I failed to have a cup of milk (not provided) nearby. Lemon-lime it is!

So there you have it. It takes a little effort, but really tastes better than most fast food. Be careful when you throw the used bags away, that darn green bag is STILL hot! Amazing!


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